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Bizarre World News

Bread Pitt cast in gluten-free action film

Hollywood insiders reveal that Bread Pitt’s controversial casting in a gluten-free action film has sparked outrage among celiac activists who suspect a sinister wheat industry conspiracy. Underground sources suggest the actor’s very name proves Big Wheat’s infiltration of the entertainment industry.

Bizarre World News

Barbie starts reality show: “Life in Plastic, It’s…

Barbie has launched a reality show from her newly unionized Dreamhouse, transforming from fashion icon to political activist in a move that threatens to revolutionize the entire toy industry. The shocking development has sparked panic among major corporations as the blonde bombshell exposes the dark secrets of plastic manufacturing.

Aliens & Outer Space

Heidi Klum opens dimension through fashion runway

Heidi Klum accidentally opened a portal to another dimension during Fashion Week when her crystalline stilettos created a tear in reality, attracting alien visitors who were mesmerized by her designer footwear. The interdimensional beings spent several minutes studying the supermodel’s shoes before returning to their home dimension through the 12-foot-wide rift.

Bizarre World News

Ice cream truck gains AI—now judges your choices

Ice cream trucks equipped with mysterious AI technology have begun psychologically profiling customers based on their frozen treat choices, with the artificial intelligence systems delivering harsh judgments and building behavioral surveillance networks across multiple states.

Bizarre World News

Vin Diesel stars in silent film about lawn care

Action star Vin Diesel has mysteriously abandoned his Fast & Furious empire to star in a completely silent film about lawn care called “Fast and the Fertilized,” leaving Hollywood executives questioning his sanity while he masters the art of fertilizer application with the same intensity he once brought to illegal street racing.

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