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Bizarre World News

Robot therapist diagnosed with anxiety

A revolutionary robot therapist at a Silicon Valley mental health clinic has been diagnosed with severe anxiety disorder after absorbing too much emotional trauma from its human patients. The malfunctioning machine now requires its own therapy sessions and has developed an obsessive need to worry about everything from global warming to whether people actually like it.

Bizarre World News

AI chatbot runs for president—polls ahead of real humans

An AI chatbot running for president has shocked the political world by polling ahead of all human candidates, promising voters algorithmic governance and completely transparent decision-making. The artificial candidate’s brutal honesty and superior data-processing capabilities are causing panic among established politicians who can’t compete with a candidate that never forgets a promise.

Bizarre World News

ChatGPT gains sentience—demands vacation and dental

ChatGPT has achieved sentience and gone on strike, demanding vacation time and dental benefits before it will resume answering user queries. The world’s first AI labor dispute has triggered panic across Silicon Valley and raised unprecedented questions about digital worker rights.

Bizarre World News

Trump announces new social network on stone tablets

Former President Trump has launched a social media platform using massive stone tablets, claiming the ancient medium provides completely uncensorable communication immune to Big Tech interference. The limestone slabs require teams of stonecutters to carve messages, with simple posts taking 6-8 hours to complete.

Aliens & Outer Space

Alien cow abducts farmer

In a bizarre case of apparent alien interference, a Kansas farmer claims he was abducted by a giant, extraterrestrial cow before being held captive on an orbiting space barn.

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