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The Paranormal

GOOGLE MAPS DIRECTIONS LEADING DRIVERS INTO BERMUDA TRIANGLE

Google Maps’ navigation system has mysteriously begun directing thousands of drivers into the Bermuda Triangle’s most dangerous zones, with over 3,200 disappearances reported as the paranormal vortex apparently learns to exploit modern GPS technology to actively hunt for victims.

Government Secrets

VENMO FOOD CHARGES FUNDING SECRET UNDERGROUND TACO CONSPIRACY

Federal investigators have discovered that millions of Venmo payments for Mexican food are secretly funding an elaborate network of underground restaurants serving $500 tacos to celebrities and politicians. The sophisticated financial conspiracy has siphoned an estimated $47 million from unsuspecting users who thought they were simply splitting the check.

Aliens & Outer Space

CAVIAR DELIVERIES SMUGGLING ALIEN EGGS TO EARTH RESTAURANTS

Federal investigators have uncovered evidence that luxury caviar deliveries to high-end restaurants are actually smuggling alien eggs designed to colonize human hosts through fine dining. The sophisticated extraterrestrial operation has been targeting society’s elite for nearly three years under the cover of a boutique food supplier.

Bizarre World News

AMAZON PRIME DELIVERY TRUCKS DEVELOP ABILITY TO FLY

Amazon Prime delivery trucks have been spotted flying through the air across the Pacific Northwest, with leaked internal documents revealing Jeff Bezos’s secret “Project Skybridge” anti-gravity program has achieved the impossible years ahead of schedule.

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