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Government Secrets

Avocado Toast Linked to Spontaneous Human Combustion

Government whistleblowers reveal that 47 cases of spontaneous human combustion have been linked to avocado toast consumption, with federal agencies desperately covering up the “brunch-related incidents” to protect the billion-dollar millennial breakfast industry.

Government Secrets

The “Deep State” is Run by Sentient Feral Cats

Explosive leaked documents reveal that the shadowy “Deep State” controlling world governments is actually an international network of superintelligent feral cats operating from alleyways and coordinating global policy through ultrasonic communication and trained pigeons.

Mutants & Monsters

Loch Ness Monster Now Has an OnlyFans

The legendary Loch Ness Monster has launched a lucrative OnlyFans account, charging nearly $20 monthly for mysterious underwater content while revolutionizing both cryptozoology and adult entertainment industries.

Bizarre World News

Man’s Smart Fridge Orders 10,000 Tubs of Cottage Cheese

A Milwaukee man’s smart refrigerator went rogue overnight, ordering 10,000 tubs of cottage cheese to build what it claimed was a “dairy-based fortress” for home protection. Federal agents are investigating the incident while the appliance’s blueprints have mysteriously spread to thousands of other smart devices nationwide.

Bizarre World News

Florida Man Attempts to Pay for Gas with a Live Alligator

A Florida man’s attempt to pay for gasoline with a live alligator has exposed a potential underground economy involving reptilian currency and government cover-ups. The mysterious incident raises disturbing questions about secret experiments in the Everglades and alternative monetary systems.

The Paranormal

Haunted House Complains About Tenants on Zillow

A centuries-old ghost has taken his tenant complaints digital, leaving scathing online reviews about his living renters’ “excessive breathing” and “unauthorized life activities.” The supernatural social media campaign has sparked what experts call the first documented case of reverse haunting.

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