TIME TRAVELER CAUGHT TRYING TO GIVE DINOSAURS VACCINES
Says he was just trying to prevent the whole asteroid thing
ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO – A mysterious figure claiming to be from the year 2087 was apprehended yesterday by federal agents after allegedly attempting to vaccinate a herd of Triceratops in what witnesses describe as the most shocking time travel incident since the Philadelphia Experiment.
Dr. Marcus Templeton, who calls himself a “Temporal Wildlife Preservation Specialist,” was discovered in a heavily wooded area outside Roswell carrying what appeared to be futuristic medical equipment and a briefcase full of prehistoric vaccination records. The 34-year-old man, whose identification documents bear dates that won’t occur for another 64 years, told authorities he was on a mission to prevent the mass extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
“I saw him with my own eyes,” said local rancher Buck Henderson, who first spotted Templeton emerging from what appeared to be a shimmering portal behind a cluster of ancient-looking ferns. “This fella was walking right up to these massive three-horned beasts like they were nothing more than cattle, jabbing them with some kind of glowing needle contraption. The dinosaurs didn’t even seem afraid of him – like they knew he was trying to help.”
According to classified government documents leaked to this reporter, Templeton carried advanced immunization serums designed to strengthen dinosaur immune systems against what he called “asteroid-borne pathogens.” His radical theory suggests that the meteor impact 65 million years ago didn’t kill the dinosaurs through environmental catastrophe alone, but rather through a deadly space virus that the weakened creatures couldn’t fight off.
“The government doesn’t want you to know this,” Templeton allegedly told FBI agents during his interrogation, “but the asteroid was just the delivery system. The real killer was an extraterrestrial plague that could have been prevented with proper vaccinations. I’ve seen the timeline – I know how this ends.”
Dr. Cornelius Blackthorne, a theoretical physicist at the underground Montauk Research Facility, believes Templeton’s claims may have terrifying implications for our understanding of both time travel and prehistoric extinction events. “If this man truly possesses knowledge of temporal manipulation technology, we’re looking at the potential for catastrophic timeline disruptions,” Blackthorne warned in a clandestine interview. “The fact that he’s targeting the dinosaur extinction event suggests someone – or something – from the future wants to fundamentally alter the course of evolution itself.”
Government sources, speaking only on condition of anonymity, reveal that Templeton’s futuristic equipment defies all known scientific principles. The vaccination devices reportedly operate on quantum-crystalline energy sources and contain microscopic nanobots programmed with DNA sequences that won’t be discovered by mainstream science for decades.
Even more disturbing are the implications of Templeton’s mission. If successful, his dinosaur vaccination program could prevent the mass extinction that paved the way for mammalian dominance and, ultimately, human evolution. Military analysts fear this could be part of a larger temporal warfare campaign designed to erase humanity from the timeline entirely.
Witnesses report seeing dozens of vaccinated dinosaurs displaying unusual behavior patterns, including increased intelligence and what appeared to be rudimentary tool use. Security footage allegedly shows a group of immunized Velociraptors working together to construct primitive shelters, suggesting the vaccines may have unexpected cognitive enhancement properties.
The time traveler remains in federal custody at an undisclosed location, though sources indicate his futuristic equipment continues to function despite being separated from its operator. Strange energy readings emanating from the confiscated devices have prompted the evacuation of several government facilities.
Intelligence agencies are now scrambling to determine whether Templeton is working alone or as part of a larger temporal conspiracy. The discovery of similar vaccination sites across three different geological time periods has experts questioning everything they thought they knew about prehistoric history and the true nature of extinction events.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
