Vaping Attracts Ghosts, Paranormal Experts Warn
Spirits drawn to the "ectoplasmic-like" clouds of artificial fruit flavor.
SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS – Paranormal investigators across the nation are sounding the alarm about a disturbing new trend: electronic cigarettes and vaping devices are creating supernatural hotspots, drawing restless spirits like moths to a flame.
Dr. Miriam Blackthorne, a renowned ectoplasm specialist at the International Institute for Spectral Research, has documented over 200 cases of increased ghostly activity in areas with heavy vaping usage. Her groundbreaking study reveals that the artificial vapor clouds produced by e-cigarettes bear an uncanny resemblance to the ethereal substance that allows spirits to manifest in our physical realm.
“The correlation is undeniable,” warns Dr. Blackthorne. “These vaping clouds contain glycerin and propylene glycol, which create a molecular structure nearly identical to natural ectoplasm. Ghosts are literally mistaking vape smoke for their own spiritual essence.”
The phenomenon first came to light in Portland, Oregon, where coffee shop owner Janet Millhaven noticed strange occurrences after allowing customers to vape indoors. Doors began slamming shut, coffee cups levitated off tables, and customers reported feeling icy touches on their shoulders.
“At first I thought it was just the usual Portland weirdness,” Millhaven recounts. “But then I started paying attention to the pattern. Every time someone blew out those big fruity clouds, the temperature would drop ten degrees and my espresso machine would start making sounds like a dying whale.”
The situation escalated when security cameras captured shadowy figures materializing within the vape clouds, seemingly drawn to the artificial mist. Local paranormal investigator Rick Thornfield analyzed the footage and confirmed the presence of at least seven distinct spirits congregating around vapers.
The ghostly attraction appears to be strongest with fruit-flavored varieties, particularly mango and strawberry blends. Dr. Blackthorne theorizes that these sweet scents remind departed souls of earthly pleasures, creating an irresistible supernatural beacon.
“Spirits who died before these artificial flavors existed are absolutely fascinated by them,” she explains. “We’ve documented cases of 18th-century ghosts following vapers for miles, desperate to experience these modern taste sensations they never had in life.”
The implications extend far beyond coffee shops. High schools reporting vaping problems have also seen dramatic spikes in paranormal activity. Lockers slam shut on their own, phantom footsteps echo through empty hallways, and teachers describe feeling watched by invisible presences during class.
Cemetery groundskeepers have noted that sections frequented by young vapers experience unusual phenomena. Headstones have been found rearranged in perfect circles around areas where teenagers gathered to vape, and groundskeeper tools mysteriously relocate themselves overnight.
The vaping industry has remained suspiciously silent about these revelations, leading some researchers to believe they’ve known about the supernatural connection all along. Internal documents allegedly leaked from a major e-cigarette manufacturer reference “Project Spectral Marketing” and mention recruiting “non-living demographics.”
Dr. Blackthorne warns that continued vaping could thin the barrier between our world and the spirit realm permanently. “We’re essentially creating ectoplasmic superhighways,” she cautions. “Every puff weakens the dimensional fabric that keeps the living and dead separate.”
Recent reports from Las Vegas describe an entire casino floor becoming uninhabitable after a vaping convention left behind concentrated supernatural residue. Slot machines now activate themselves, playing ghostly melodies throughout the night, while security guards report seeing translucent figures hunched over poker tables.
The Federal Paranormal Regulation Agency has quietly begun investigating the connection but refuses to comment publicly. Meanwhile, ghost hunters nationwide report business booming as they’re called to investigate vape-related hauntings at an unprecedented rate.
Until further research is completed, Dr. Blackthorne advises extreme caution for anyone using electronic cigarettes, especially in historically significant locations where restless spirits might already reside.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
