WOMAN’S TIKTOK DANCE OPENS PORTAL TO PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Viral choreography accidentally performs ancient summoning ritual attracting interdimensional tourists
PHOENIX, ARIZONA – What started as an innocent attempt to go viral on TikTok has allegedly torn open a gateway between dimensions, turning 22-year-old college student Miranda Chen’s apartment into ground zero for interdimensional tourism that has government agencies scrambling for answers.
The bizarre incident began last Tuesday when Chen, a communications major at Arizona State University, uploaded a 15-second dance video featuring an intricate routine she claimed came to her in a dream. The choreography, which involves specific hand gestures performed while spinning counterclockwise and chanting what sounds like gibberish, has since accumulated over 12 million views and spawned thousands of copycat videos worldwide.
But Chen’s original performance did more than just entertain – it apparently activated an ancient Mesopotamian summoning ritual that scientists believe has opened a stable portal to a parallel Earth where disco never died and humans have evolved with naturally occurring glitter in their skin.
“I was just trying to get some likes, you know?” Chen told this reporter during an exclusive interview at an undisclosed safe house. “The moves just felt right, like muscle memory from a past life or something. Then suddenly there’s this shimmering oval thing floating in my living room, and these sparkly people in bell-bottoms are taking selfies with my houseplants.”
According to leaked documents obtained by Weekly World News, the Department of Homeland Security has classified Chen’s apartment as a “Level 7 Anomalous Zone” after confirming that at least forty-seven beings from the parallel dimension have crossed through the portal. These interdimensional visitors, dubbed “Glitter People” by government insiders, appear to be harmless tourists fascinated by our reality’s version of avocado toast and indoor plumbing.
The ritual Chen unknowingly performed matches cuneiform tablets discovered in Iraq in 2003 but suppressed by military censors. Dr. Ezekiel Mortimer, a leading expert in ancient summoning practices at the Institute for Paranormal Archaeological Studies, believes the dance’s viral spread could trigger additional portal openings worldwide.
“What Ms. Chen stumbled upon is essentially a 4,000-year-old instruction manual for punching holes through the fabric of space-time,” Dr. Mortimer explained during a clandestine meeting at a 24-hour diner. “The ancient Sumerians were far more advanced than mainstream archaeology admits. They understood that specific movement patterns combined with vocal frequencies could manipulate dimensional barriers. Frankly, it’s a miracle this hasn’t happened sooner given how many ancient rituals have been turned into exercise routines.”
TikTok has reportedly begun shadow-banning videos featuring Chen’s choreography, but mirror sites and underground forums have ensured the dance’s continued spread. At least six copycat performers claim to have experienced “reality glitches” including floating furniture, backwards-speaking pets, and visits from alternate versions of themselves.
The Glitter People, meanwhile, seem delighted by their accidental discovery of our dimension. Several have established temporary residences in Chen’s neighborhood, paying rent in crystallized starlight and sharing advanced disco technology with local residents. One visitor, identifying himself only as “Cosmic Keith,” has reportedly revolutionized three local nightclubs with his knowledge of interdimensional sound systems.
Government sources confirm that a joint task force including NASA, the CIA, and a secret division of the Department of Agriculture has been assembled to monitor the situation. Their primary concern isn’t invasion – it’s real estate prices, as word spreads about Phoenix’s new status as Earth’s first interdimensional tourist destination.
Chen has been offered millions by entertainment companies for exclusive rights to her dance, but she remains focused on her studies. She’s switched her major to theoretical physics and is reportedly working on a follow-up routine that might open portals to dimensions where student loan debt doesn’t exist.
The portal remains active, with new Glitter People arriving daily for what they call “Earth Safari Adventures.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
