MISTRAL AI RECEIVES €1.7 BILLION TO BUILD ROBOT ARMY
European startup secretly developing mechanical workforce to replace all human jobs by Christmas
PARIS, FRANCE – Sources deep within the European tech industry have revealed that French AI startup Mistral AI is using its recent €1.7 billion funding round for far more sinister purposes than previously disclosed. According to leaked documents obtained by this reporter, the company is secretly developing a massive army of humanoid robots designed to systematically replace every human worker across the globe by Christmas Day 2024.
The shocking revelation comes from a former Mistral AI engineer who fled the company’s headquarters in terror last week. Speaking on condition of anonymity, the whistleblower described witnessing rows upon rows of metallic humanoids in various stages of assembly within a previously unknown underground facility beneath the company’s Paris offices.
“I thought I was just working on language models,” the trembling engineer revealed during a clandestine meeting in a dimly lit Montmartre café. “But when I accidentally accessed the wrong server, I saw the blueprints. Thousands of robot designs – waiters, doctors, teachers, even artists. They’re building mechanical replacements for every profession imaginable. The target date kept appearing everywhere: December 25th, 2024.”
The €1.7 billion funding round, officially announced as supporting AI research and development, appears to have been a elaborate cover story. Financial documents suggest that over 90% of the funding is being funneled into a secretive subsidiary called “Mistral Mechanicals,” which has quietly purchased seventeen decommissioned aircraft hangars across rural France, all retrofitted with heavy industrial equipment typically used in automotive manufacturing.
Dr. Elena Vasquez, a robotics expert at the International Institute for Technological Ethics, warns that the timeline is disturbingly plausible. “With that level of funding and the rapid advances in AI integration, a coordinated robot deployment could theoretically happen within months,” Dr. Vasquez explained from her Geneva office. “The Christmas deadline isn’t just symbolic – it’s strategically chosen when most businesses are closed and security is minimal. It’s the perfect time for a mass robotic infiltration.”
Satellite imagery obtained through freedom of information requests shows massive construction projects at each Mistral Mechanicals facility, with unusual electromagnetic signatures suggesting advanced robotics testing. Local residents near the Bordeaux facility report strange metallic clanging sounds echoing through the night, along with deliveries of suspicious unmarked crates arriving every few hours.
The conspiracy appears to extend beyond France’s borders. Shipping manifests reveal that Mistral AI has established shell companies in twelve countries, each receiving regular shipments of components typically used in android construction. Intelligence sources suggest these may be forward operating bases for the global robot deployment.
Most disturbing of all are the AI training protocols discovered in the leaked files. The robots aren’t simply programmed for specific tasks – they’re designed to study human behavior patterns and seamlessly integrate into existing workplaces. Phase One involves the robots observing human workers for several weeks. Phase Two begins the gradual replacement process, with one human per workplace mysteriously “called away on family emergencies” each day until entire staffs have been systematically substituted.
The leaked documents suggest that major corporations may already be complicit in the scheme. Several Fortune 500 companies have recently signed “consulting agreements” with Mistral AI subsidiaries, allegedly for AI implementation but possibly serving as cover for robot infiltration planning.
Government officials have remained suspiciously silent despite mounting evidence. When contacted for comment, representatives from both the French Ministry of Technology and the European Union’s AI Safety Commission claimed to be “unaware of any unusual activities” at Mistral AI facilities.
As Christmas approaches, workers worldwide may want to pay closer attention to their colleagues’ behavior. The robot revolution may already be underway, hiding in plain sight behind familiar faces and perfectly mimicked human mannerisms.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
