Maleficent volunteers part-time
MALIBU, CA – In a shocking revelation that has sent ripples through Hollywood’s supernatural underground, Academy Award-winning actress Angelina Jolie has quietly established a sprawling sanctuary for history’s most misunderstood villains on her 1,200-acre estate overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
Sources close to the humanitarian and actress confirm that the compound, dubbed “Redemption Ridge,” currently houses over two dozen notorious figures from fairy tales, literature, and mythology who claim they’ve been unfairly maligned by centuries of propaganda. The most high-profile resident? None other than Maleficent herself, the horned fairy who has taken on a part-time volunteer position helping newcomers adjust to rehabilitation.
“I’ve seen things that would make your blood freeze,” whispered groundskeeper Miguel Santos, who agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity. “Last Tuesday, I watched the Big Bad Wolf teaching anger management classes to Captain Hook while the Queen of Hearts practiced meditation in the rose garden. Angelina walks among them like some kind of villain whisperer.”
The sanctuary reportedly features state-of-the-art therapy facilities, including a specialized mirror room for the Evil Queen’s body dysmorphia issues and a soundproof tower where Rapunzel’s captor works through abandonment trauma with licensed therapists. A converted airplane hangar serves as a communal dining hall where former enemies share meals and swap stories about their alleged crimes.
Dr. Helena Grimm, a folklore psychologist at the Institute for Narrative Studies, believes Jolie’s project represents a dangerous precedent. “These aren’t misunderstood antiheroes we’re talking about,” Dr. Grimm warned during a clandestine phone interview. “These are entities who have terrorized children’s dreams for generations. Jolie may think she’s running a rehabilitation center, but she’s actually created a supervillain training camp disguised as therapy.”
Insiders reveal that Maleficent serves as both head counselor and recruitment coordinator, using her extensive network of dark magic contacts to identify potential residents. The fairy, who has undergone a dramatic public image transformation since her 2014 film debut, reportedly works three days a week conducting intake interviews and leading group therapy sessions.
The sanctuary’s existence first came to light when a delivery driver for a specialty food company noticed unusual orders being shipped to the Jolie compound: cases of poisoned apples, enchanted mirrors, and what appeared to be industrial-grade spinning wheels. When questioned, Jolie’s representatives claimed the items were props for an upcoming film project, but investigative records show no such production in development.
Perhaps most disturbing are reports of midnight gatherings where residents practice “reformed villainy” – using their dark powers for allegedly positive purposes. Witnesses describe seeing the Evil Queen’s magic mirror providing therapy to insecure teenagers via video chat, while Rumpelstiltskin has reportedly started a micro-lending program for struggling small businesses, though his contracts still contain suspiciously complex fine print.
Local authorities remain baffled by the legal implications of harboring fictional characters, with Sheriff’s Deputy Maria Gonzalez admitting, “Our jurisdiction doesn’t exactly cover interdimensional refugees from fairy tales. We’re in uncharted territory here.”
The sanctuary’s most controversial program involves “narrative rehabilitation,” where residents work with ghostwriters to publish their side of famous stories. Upcoming releases allegedly include “The Wolf’s Dilemma: A Carnivore’s Struggle in a Vegetarian World” and “Spinning Gold: My Journey from Anger to Entrepreneurship.”
As news of Redemption Ridge spreads through Hollywood’s occult circles, sources suggest other A-list celebrities are considering similar projects. However, none have dared to challenge Jolie’s unprecedented venture into supernatural social work, perhaps fearing the wrath of her newly reformed but still formidable houseguests.
The actress herself remains unavailable for comment, though smoke signals spelling “No interviews” have been spotted rising from her estate’s chimney each morning at dawn.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
