Still stunning and beautiful, even in low gravity
HOUSTON, TX – Stunning new photographs from NASA’s classified Mars surveillance program have revealed what appears to be none other than Marilyn Monroe, alive and well on the Red Planet, sources within the space agency confirmed this week.
The bombshell discovery came to light when whistleblower Dr. Marcus Ventrillo, a former NASA imaging specialist, leaked dozens of high-resolution photographs showing a platinum blonde figure in a flowing white dress walking across the Martian landscape near the Valles Marineris canyon system.
“There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind—that’s Marilyn,” said Dr. Ventrillo, who analyzed Mars rover footage for twelve years before his sudden termination last month. “The bone structure, the walk, that iconic beauty mark—it’s all there. NASA has been covering this up since the first sightings in 2019.”
The photographs, which this reporter has examined extensively, show the legendary actress appearing remarkably unchanged from her supposed death in 1962. If anything, Monroe appears even more radiant, with her famous curves enhanced by Mars’ reduced gravity.
But perhaps most shocking of all are the intercepted radio transmissions that NASA has allegedly been receiving from the Red Planet. In crystal-clear audio obtained by our sources, Monroe’s unmistakable breathy voice can be heard making casual observations about her new home.
“Well, I have to say, Mars is absolutely divine,” Monroe purrs in one transmission. “The sunsets are to die for, and honestly, the moon was completely overrated. Too cold, too gray, and frankly, the commute from Earth was a nightmare.”
The revelations have sent shockwaves through both the scientific community and Hollywood elite, many of whom had long suspected that Monroe’s death was an elaborate hoax designed to protect her from shadowy government forces.
According to classified documents leaked alongside the photographs, Monroe was secretly recruited by a joint CIA-NASA operation called “Project Starlet” in 1962, following her alleged romantic entanglements with both President Kennedy and his brother Robert. Rather than risk the security implications of her high-profile relationships, the agency faked her death and transported her to a secret Mars colony established decades before the public space program began.
“The technology has existed since the 1940s,” explains conspiracy researcher and author Helena Blackwood, who has spent thirty years investigating government cover-ups. “What people don’t understand is that the space program we see is just window dressing. The real action has been happening on Mars for generations. Marilyn is probably just one of dozens of celebrities and political figures they’ve relocated there.”
The Mars colony, according to these sources, serves as both a witness protection program for high-profile individuals and a testing ground for advanced terraforming technologies. Monroe allegedly serves as the colony’s unofficial ambassador and morale officer, her presence helping to maintain psychological stability among the other relocated Earth inhabitants.
NASA officials have vehemently denied the claims, with spokesperson Janet Richardson calling the photographs “obvious fabrications” and dismissing the audio recordings as “sophisticated deepfakes created by conspiracy theorists with too much time on their hands.”
However, eagle-eyed researchers have noted several suspicious details in official NASA Mars imagery over the past several years, including what appears to be structures resembling 1950s-era Hollywood sets and mysterious blonde figures captured in the backgrounds of supposedly uninhabited Martian landscapes.
The leaked documents also suggest that Monroe has become something of a fashion icon among the Mars colonists, with her Earth-imported wardrobe causing quite a sensation in the low-gravity environment. Several transmissions reference her famous subway grate dress scene, noting how much more dramatic the effect becomes with Mars’ reduced atmospheric pressure.
As this story continues to develop, one thing remains certain: if Marilyn Monroe truly has found her way to Mars, she’s clearly making the most of her interplanetary retirement, proving once again that some stars shine brightest when they’re furthest from home.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
