Matches flood in, bolts spark romance
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – The world’s most famous reanimated corpse has shocked the international dating scene by joining the popular romance app “SparkMatch,” setting his location status as “parts unknown” in what experts are calling the most bizarre romantic development since Beauty and the Beast.
Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s legendary creation, who goes simply by “Frank” on his profile, has been inundated with over 10,000 matches in just 72 hours since his profile went live last Tuesday. His bio, which cryptically states “parts unknown, heart uncertain, looking for someone to complete the circuit,” has apparently struck a chord with singles worldwide seeking unconventional romance.
“I was scrolling through profiles when I saw these piercing eyes and those distinctive neck bolts,” said Rebecca Martinez, 28, a veterinary technician from Phoenix who was among the first to swipe right on the legendary monster. “There was something electric about him – literally. When we matched, my phone actually sparked and the screen flickered. I’ve never experienced chemistry like that before.”
The creature’s profile pictures, taken in moody black-and-white lighting against Gothic castle backdrops, showcase his imposing 8-foot frame and signature stitched features. His interests are listed as “long walks in graveyards, reading Mary Shelley, collecting vintage laboratory equipment, and seeking meaningful connections beyond the superficial.”
What’s most shocking to relationship experts isn’t the monster’s presence on dating apps, but the overwhelmingly positive response he’s received. His inbox is reportedly flooded with messages from admirers who find his mysterious past and assembled physique irresistibly attractive.
“This phenomenon reveals a fascinating shift in modern dating preferences,” explains Dr. Helena Voss, a supernatural relationship counselor and author of “Love in the Age of Monsters.” “Today’s singles are increasingly drawn to authenticity and uniqueness. Here’s someone who’s literally one-of-a-kind, assembled from the finest parts available. In a world of filtered photos and fake profiles, his transparency about being artificially created is refreshingly honest.”
The creature has reportedly been particularly successful with matches in the 25-35 demographic, with many citing his “vintage charm” and “handcrafted quality” as major attractions. Several conversations have apparently moved beyond the app to in-person meetings, though details remain scarce.
Sources close to the situation reveal that Frankenstein’s monster has been surprisingly selective despite his overwhelming options. He’s only agreed to meet three potential partners face-to-face, each encounter taking place in carefully controlled environments – specifically, candlelit restaurants during thunderstorms.
“He showed up right on time, flowers in hand, looking absolutely electrifying,” reported Sarah Chen, 31, a museum curator who enjoyed a dinner date with the creature last weekend. “Yes, he’s intimidating physically, but he’s incredibly well-read and surprisingly vulnerable. He opened up about the loneliness of being unique, the challenges of finding acceptance. By dessert, I was completely smitten.”
The dating app’s parent company has remained tight-lipped about their most famous user, though insider sources suggest they’re considering featuring him in upcoming advertising campaigns. His profile has reportedly generated more engagement than any other user in the platform’s five-year history.
However, not everyone is thrilled about this romantic renaissance. Local villagers in the Transylvanian region have expressed concerns about the creature’s newfound dating success, with some forming torch-bearing protest groups outside internet cafes.
The monster himself has remained largely silent about his romantic pursuits, though his profile was recently updated to include the cryptic message: “Seeking someone who sees beyond the scars to the soul beneath. Warning: I come with baggage, but I’m working on myself.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
