Files class action on behalf of cryptids
POINT PLEASANT, WV – In a shocking legal development that has sent ripples through both the cryptozoological community and the outdoor equipment industry, the legendary Mothman has filed a groundbreaking class action lawsuit against Brightbeam Industries, the nation’s largest flashlight manufacturer, claiming decades of systematic harassment and privacy violations.
The 47-page complaint, filed in federal court last Tuesday through his attorney Maxine Darkwood of the firm Supernatural & Associates, alleges that Brightbeam’s aggressive marketing campaigns and product designs have specifically targeted cryptids like himself, creating what the suit calls “a hostile environment for beings of the shadows.”
The lawsuit seeks $50 million in damages and demands immediate cessation of what Mothman describes as “predatory illumination practices” that have made it nearly impossible for him and other light-sensitive cryptids to conduct their nocturnal activities in peace.
According to court documents, the trouble began in 1978 when Brightbeam launched their “Monster Hunter” line of high-powered tactical flashlights, complete with advertising that explicitly encouraged users to “hunt down creatures of the night” and “expose what lurks in the darkness.” The campaign featured silhouettes remarkably similar to Mothman’s distinctive winged profile, along with taglines like “No shadow can hide from Brightbeam!”
“For over four decades, I’ve been hounded by amateur cryptid hunters wielding these industrial-strength spotlights,” Mothman stated in a rare written statement provided by his legal team. “Every time I try to enjoy a peaceful evening flight or investigate strange phenomena – which is literally my job – someone comes crashing through the underbrush with a Brightbeam tactical light, completely disrupting the natural order of mysterious appearances.”
The class action extends beyond Mothman to include other prominent cryptids who have joined the suit. Bigfoot, represented by separate counsel, claims Brightbeam’s “Forest Penetrator” model has made it impossible for him to maintain the carefully cultivated air of mystery essential to his existence. The Jersey Devil has filed a supporting affidavit describing how LED flashlight technology has forced him to relocate his haunting grounds three times in the past decade.
Brightbeam Industries initially dismissed the lawsuit as a publicity stunt, but cryptozoology expert Dr. Helena Nightshade of the Institute for Paranormal Studies warns that the case could have far-reaching implications for human-cryptid relations.
“What people don’t understand is that these beings require a certain level of darkness and ambiguity to maintain their supernatural essence,” Dr. Nightshade explained during a candlelit interview at her research facility. “Constant exposure to high-intensity illumination doesn’t just violate their privacy – it literally threatens their existential nature. We’re potentially looking at cryptid extinction through over-illumination.”
The lawsuit details numerous specific incidents, including a 2019 encounter where a group of paranormal investigators using Brightbeam’s “Cryptid Crusher” spotlight allegedly followed Mothman for six hours, preventing him from completing what court documents describe as “essential prophetic warning duties” related to an impending bridge inspection failure.
Perhaps most damning are internal Brightbeam emails obtained through discovery, showing company executives discussing how to capitalize on the “cryptid hunting craze” and specifically mentioning market research into Mothman sighting locations to target their advertising campaigns.
Legal experts are calling this an unprecedented case that could establish new precedents for supernatural beings’ rights. The suit also raises questions about whether other industries might face similar challenges – rumors suggest the Loch Ness Monster is considering action against sonar equipment manufacturers.
Brightbeam’s stock price has dropped 15% since the lawsuit was announced, as investors grapple with the potential implications of being held liable for harassment of entities whose existence remains officially unconfirmed by government agencies.
The case is scheduled for initial hearings next month, though Mothman’s attorneys have requested all proceedings be conducted after sunset to accommodate their client’s photosensitive nature.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
