Taps “Send snacks” on toaster
MILWAUKEE, WI – A suburban housewife’s afternoon nap turned into a technological nightmare when she awakened with an inexplicable mastery of Morse code and an overwhelming compulsion to communicate through kitchen appliances.
Margaret Flemming, 42, a part-time bookkeeper from Wauwatosa, dozed off on her living room couch last Tuesday around 2:30 PM. When she stirred awake three hours later, her world had fundamentally changed. The rhythmic hum of her refrigerator now sounded like coded messages. The clicking of her wall clock transformed into urgent telegraphic communications. Most disturbing of all, she found herself instinctively tapping out complex patterns on every metallic surface within reach.
“At first, I thought I was still dreaming,” Flemming told this reporter, her fingers unconsciously drumming dot-dash patterns on her coffee table. “But then I realized I was actually understanding what I was tapping. It was like someone had downloaded a program directly into my brain while I slept.”
The mother of two immediately began experimenting with her newfound ability, moving from room to room and testing various household items for their telegraphic potential. Light switches proved adequate for basic communication, while her stainless steel refrigerator offered premium acoustic properties. However, it was her four-slice chrome toaster that provided the clearest transmission quality.
Her husband, Dale Flemming, 44, witnessed the bizarre transformation firsthand. “She went straight to the kitchen and started banging on that toaster like it owed her money,” he recalled, shaking his head in bewilderment. “I asked her what she was doing, and she said, ‘I’m telling it to send snacks.’ I thought she’d lost her mind.”
But Margaret’s Morse code skills proved unnaturally precise. Local ham radio operator Vernon Pritchett, who lives three blocks away, detected her kitchen transmissions on his equipment that evening. The signals, he confirmed, were flawlessly executed International Morse Code requesting various food items – everything from potato chips to chocolate cake.
The incident has attracted the attention of Dr. Elena Vasquez, a neurological researcher at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, who specializes in sudden-onset savant syndrome. “What we’re seeing here defies conventional understanding of how the brain acquires complex skills,” Dr. Vasquez explained via telephone. “Morse code mastery typically requires months of dedicated practice. To achieve this level of proficiency instantaneously suggests either an extraordinary neurological event or external intervention of unknown origin.”
Government involvement became apparent when unmarked black vehicles appeared outside the Flemming residence on Thursday morning. Neighbors reported men in dark suits conducting electromagnetic readings around the property, paying particular attention to the kitchen area. The visitors departed after six hours, leaving behind only scorch marks on the lawn and a lingering smell of ozone.
Margaret’s condition has shown no signs of improvement. If anything, her compulsions have intensified. She now communicates almost exclusively through tapped messages, wearing the finish off multiple surfaces throughout her home. Her children have learned to interpret basic requests, while Dale has purchased foam padding for the most frequently used transmission points.
Sleep studies conducted at Aurora Medical Center revealed unprecedented brain activity during Margaret’s REM cycles, with neural patterns resembling radio wave frequencies. Dr. Mitchell Barnes, the attending physician, described the readings as “unlike anything in medical literature.”
The toaster itself has developed concerning characteristics. Neighbors report receiving faint tapping sounds from their own kitchen appliances, always occurring between 3:00 and 3:15 AM – the exact time of Margaret’s fateful nap. Local electronics repair shops have experienced a 300% increase in service calls for “possessed” appliances.
Federal investigators maintain their silence, but sources within the telecommunications industry suggest possible connections to recently declassified military experiments involving subliminal signal transmission through household electrical systems.
Margaret continues her daily routine of domestic telegraphy, seemingly unaware that her afternoon nap may have made her ground zero for the most significant communications phenomenon since the invention of the telegraph itself.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
