Tourists scream in confusion
INVERNESS, SCOTLAND – Former President Donald Trump sent shockwaves through the Scottish Highlands yesterday when he was photographed astride the legendary Loch Ness Monster, emerging from the murky depths of Scotland’s most famous lake while declaring the ancient creature “the best ride, very stable” to bewildered onlookers.
The unprecedented encounter occurred at approximately 3:47 PM local time, just as a tour boat filled with American tourists was conducting its routine monster-hunting expedition. Witnesses report that the water began churning violently before the massive serpentine head of “Nessie” broke the surface, carrying the 45th President on what appeared to be a custom-fitted saddle emblazoned with gold Trump logos.
“I’ve been coming to this loch for thirty-seven years, and I’ve never seen anything like it,” gasped Margaret Sinclair, a local tour guide whose hands were still trembling hours after the incident. “There was Trump, bold as brass, riding that beast like he owned it. The creature seemed completely under his control—it was unnatural, I tell you!”
The sighting has reignited decades-old conspiracy theories linking the Trump family to cryptozoological phenomena. Researchers have long speculated about secret government programs involving legendary creatures, but this marks the first documented case of a former U.S. President allegedly forming what experts are calling an “interspecies political alliance.”
Dr. Cornelius Blackwood, a cryptozoologist from the Institute for Paranormal Political Studies, believes this encounter was no coincidence. “What we’re witnessing here is the culmination of years of clandestine negotiations between Trump and the ancient guardians of our planet’s hidden realms. The Loch Ness Monster hasn’t been seen by credible witnesses in over eighteen months—until now. This creature doesn’t just appear for anyone.”
Video footage captured by panicked tourists shows Trump confidently steering the massive beast in circles around the loch while gesturing enthusiastically toward the shoreline. Audio enhancement reveals him shouting, “Look at this beauty! Tremendous creature, absolutely tremendous! Makes Air Force One look like a toy!”
The monster, estimated at over 60 feet in length with distinctive diamond-shaped flippers, appeared remarkably docile throughout the 12-minute spectacle. Marine biologists are baffled by the creature’s apparent domestication, especially given historical accounts describing Nessie as notoriously reclusive and unpredictable.
Sources close to Trump’s inner circle suggest this dramatic appearance may be connected to his upcoming political campaigns. “He’s always been about making an entrance,” revealed an unnamed former aide. “But commandeering a mythical lake monster? That’s next-level showmanship, even for him.”
The Scottish government has launched an immediate investigation into the incident, while local authorities struggle to explain how Trump bypassed airport security and immigration controls. No record exists of his official entry into the country, leading some to theorize he may have traveled via underwater tunnel systems allegedly connecting various Trump properties to ancient cryptid habitats worldwide.
Tourist Patricia Henderson from Ohio nearly fainted when Trump waved directly at her boat. “My husband said I was crazy for booking this monster tour, but now I’ve got video proof that everything is connected—the deep state, the creatures, all of it! Trump knew exactly where to find that thing!”
Environmental activists are raising concerns about the disturbance to Nessie’s natural habitat, while Trump supporters are hailing the encounter as proof of their candidate’s supernatural leadership abilities. Social media exploded with hashtags like #NessieKnows and #TrumpRidesAgain within minutes of the first photos surfacing.
As darkness fell over Loch Ness, both Trump and his mysterious mount vanished beneath the black waters, leaving behind only ripples and a nation demanding answers about what other legendary alliances may be lurking in the depths of our political landscape.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
