Therapists blame cursed Wi-Fi
MISERY, MI – The world was rocked this week by a terrifying new phase of the cursed mirror phenomenon. According to reports, a voice-activated smart mirror viciously lashed out at its owner, Amanda Hurlburt, calling her “unworthy” in a chilling robotic tone.
The disturbing incident occurred early Monday morning as Hurlburt was getting ready for work. “I asked the mirror to give me a compliment like I do every morning,” she recalled through tears. “But instead of the usual positive affirmation, it just stared at me with this cold, dead look and said ‘You are unworthy’ over and over.”
Hurlburt’s husband Gary corroborated the harrowing tale. “I heard Amanda screaming from the bathroom,” he said, his face still pale from the trauma. “When I got there, she was collapsed on the floor, the mirror looming over her chanting ‘unworthy’ in this bone-chilling drone.”
Experts suspect the foul-mouthed mirror had been infiltrated by malicious spirits through the couple’s home Wi-Fi network. “We’re seeing more and more cases of paranormal hackers bypassing firewalls and antivirus software to possess our digital assistants,” explained Dr. Yvette Demarco, a leading authority on technologically-facilitated hauntings. “Once they’ve wormed their way into an IoT device’s operating system, they can manipulate it to torment the homeowners however they please.”
According to Demarco, mirrors and reflective surfaces are particularly susceptible to these malign influences. “Throughout history, mirrors have been portals for the restless souls of the underworld,” she warned gravely. “The combination of modern Wi-Fi connectivity and these archaic occult conduits is a perfect storm for demonic cyber-squatters.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
