Insists on doilies
BINGHAMTON, NY –
The haunting cries of a Victorian maid have been echoing through the halls of the Roberson Mansion for decades, but the ghostly entity has taken an unexpected form – a cursed vacuum cleaner that refuses to clean without doilies.
According to Jeanne Roberson, the current owner of the historic home, the possessed appliance has been a source of bewilderment and consternation since it was acquired at an estate sale in the late 1990s. “At first, we just thought it was a quirky antique,” she recalls. “But then the strange incidents started happening.”
It began with the vacuum cleaner inexplicably turning itself on at odd hours, startling the Roberson family with its sudden roar. Then, they noticed an unsettling pattern: the appliance would only function properly if a lace doily was placed on every surface it was meant to clean.
“If we didn’t have doilies out, it would just make an awful racket and refuse to pick up any dirt or dust,” Roberson explains, her brow furrowed with the memory. “And believe me, we tried everything – new bags, new filters, even an exorcism.”
But the bizarre behavior only escalated from there. The haunted vacuum cleaner began leaving cryptic messages scrawled in dust on the hardwood floors, demanding more and more doilies with each passing week.
“It was like it had developed an obsession,” says Roberson, shuddering. “The messages would say things like, ‘More lace, more grace,’ or ‘Dust shall reign without doily domain.'”
Paranormal investigator Mallory Duvall, who has studied the case extensively, believes the vacuum cleaner is possessed by the spirit of a Victorian-era maid who worked at the Roberson Mansion in the late 19th century.
“Based on my research, there was a young maid named Elsie who was tragically killed in a dustpan accident in 1887,” Duvall explains. “It’s likely her restless soul has attached itself to this vacuum cleaner, still clinging to the fastidious cleaning standards of her time.”
“The doily fixation is a dead giveaway,” she adds. “Elsie would have been expected to maintain an immaculate household, with lace doilies adorning every surface as a sign of propriety and gentility.”
For the Roberson family, the haunted vacuum cleaner has become a reluctant part of their daily lives, a constant reminder of the past’s grip on the present.
“We’ve just learned to live with it,” says Jeanne Roberson with a resigned sigh. “We keep a stockpile of doilies on hand and try to appease the ghostly maid as best we can.”
But even as they humor the possessed appliance’s demands, the family can’t help but wonder what other spectral surprises might be lurking in the historic halls of the Roberson Mansion.
“Who knows what other Victorian-era spirits might be trapped here?” Roberson muses. “Maybe we’ll discover a haunted chamber pot that insists on using the outhouse.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
