Attendees call it “out of this world”
VENUS, TX – It was supposed to be a night of intergalactic connection and maybe even a little cosmic romance, but an alien speed dating event in the small town of Venus ended in a shocking and otherworldly twist. Eyewitnesses claim that several attendees were abducted by extraterrestrials, leaving the rest of the group equal parts terrified and intrigued.
The event, organized by the Venus Astronomical Society, was intended to be a lighthearted way for locals to mingle with “cosmic singles” from far-flung corners of the galaxy. Organizers had advertised the night as a chance to “find your celestial soulmate” and “experience love that’s truly out of this world.”
But according to eyewitness accounts, things took a bizarre turn about an hour into the proceedings. “We were just getting to know each other, swapping stories about our home planets and favorite nebulae, when suddenly there was this blinding light,” recalled Venus resident and event attendee Marvin Jeffries. “Next thing I knew, three of the alien ladies had just vanished into thin air. Poof! Like they were beamed up or something.”
While some attendees fled the scene in panic, others reportedly attempted to communicate with the alleged abductors, to no avail. “I tried asking them to bring our friends back, but they just looked at me like I was speaking some ancient alien tongue,” said another witness, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals.
Authorities were quick to dismiss claims of extraterrestrial involvement, suggesting instead that the disappearances were likely the work of skilled illusionists or pranksters. But longtime UFO researcher and self-proclaimed “alien interpreter” Buster Lyman isn’t buying the official explanation.
“This has all the hallmarks of a classic alien abduction scenario,” Lyman asserted. “The blinding light, the unexplained disappearances – heck, even the name of the town is a dead giveaway. I’d bet my vintage ‘E.T.’ lunchbox that those poor souls were snatched up by some lovesick space travelers looking to add a little human spice to their gene pool, if you catch my drift.”
While local officials continue to investigate the bizarre incident, the fate of the missing attendees remains a mystery – leaving the people of Venus, and the world at large, to wonder if they’ve witnessed the ultimate in interstellar minglings gone awry.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
