“Came for the samples, stayed for the savings”
TUKWILA, WA – An extraterrestrial visitor made an unscheduled stop at a local Costco wholesale store last Thursday, causing a frenzy among shoppers and fueling conspiracy theories about a potential government cover-up.
According to eyewitness accounts, the alien spacecraft crash-landed in the store’s parking lot around 3 PM, narrowly missing several vehicles. The impact left a sizable crater and scattered debris across the area. Moments later, a humanoid figure emerged from the wreckage, clad in a sleek, silver suit and carrying what appeared to be a futuristic scanning device.
“At first, I thought it was some kind of promotional stunt,” said Tukwila resident Janice Wilcox, who was returning her cart when the incident occurred. “But then I saw this strange creature walk out of the smoke, and I knew something was seriously wrong – or seriously right, depending on how you look at it.”
The alien, standing approximately six feet tall with large, almond-shaped eyes and a slender build, made its way into the store, seemingly unfazed by the commotion it had caused. Eyewitnesses reported that the being navigated the aisles with purpose, stopping occasionally to examine various products and even sample some of the free snacks offered by vendors.
“It was like it was shopping, but not really,” recalled Costco employee Mark Daniels. “It would pick up an item, scan it with that weird device, and then either put it back or toss it into its cart. At one point, it grabbed a whole tray of mini-quiches and just inhaled them.”
While some shoppers fled the scene in panic, others cautiously approached the alien, snapping photos and videos with their smartphones. Several attempts were made to communicate with the visitor, but it remained unresponsive, focused solely on its apparent mission of procurement.
As word of the incident spread, local authorities and federal agents swiftly descended on the Costco, cordoning off the area and ushering out customers and employees. According to unconfirmed reports, the alien was eventually apprehended and taken into custody by a specialized government task force.
“This is exactly the kind of thing the powers-that-be don’t want us to know about,” claimed UFO enthusiast and self-proclaimed “truth-seeker” Marvin Krebbs. “They’ll try to cover it up, spin some yarn about a training exercise or a publicity stunt gone wrong. But we know the truth – we’re being visited, and they’re stocking up on supplies for some nefarious purpose.”
While officials have remained tight-lipped about the incident, the Costco in question has temporarily closed its doors, citing “renovations” as the reason. However, many remain unconvinced, speculating that a more thorough investigation – or even a full-scale cover-up – is underway.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
