“It was her turn,” claims local
SMALLTOWN, KS – Farmer John Smith was tending to his crops one fateful night when he claims to have been abducted by an alien bovine creature. According to Smith, the otherworldly cow appeared out of thin air and levitated him onto its back before zooming off into the night sky.
“I was just finishing up in the south field when I saw this bright light in the distance,” recounted Smith. “Next thing I knew, there was this giant cow standing in front of me, at least 10 feet tall! Its eyes were glowing and it had these weird tentacles coming out of its udder.”
Smith says the tentacles then wrapped around his body and pulled him onto the creature’s back. “That’s when it just took off, flying straight up into the air. I couldn’t believe my eyes!”
The errant rancher claims he was taken to what appeared to be a massive barn in orbit around the Earth. There, he says the alien cow joined others of its kind in some sort of bizarre milking ritual.
“They had all these weird machines hooked up to their udders,” said Smith, visibly shaken. “I’m telling you, it was a real cow-spiracy! They were storing that milk in giant vats marked ‘For Human Consumption.’ Who knows what they’re planning to do with it?”
While local authorities have dismissed Smith’s tale as the ramblings of an overly imaginative farmer, noted xenoufologist Dr. Emilia Krieger sees merit in his claims.
“We’ve long theorized that an advanced alien civilization could evolve from bovine creatures on another planet,” stated Krieger. “Mr. Smith’s encounter provides chilling evidence that such beings may be abducting humans to study our milk-producing capabilities.”
According to the ufologist, these aliens could be attempting to cross-breed human and alien cattle to create a superior dairy hybrid. “Or worse, they could be replacing our cows with alien infiltrators designed to slowly contaminate our milk supply. The implications are truly terrifying.”
For his part, Smith remains adamant about the shocking events that transpired that night. “That cow came back and dropped me off in that same field around daybreak,” he said. “I may never be able to look at a glass of milk the same way again.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
