Brains replaced by brand deals
HOLLYWOOD, CA – The dark underbelly of social media influence has taken a sinister turn, with a disturbing new fad gripping the zombie community. Hordes of the undead have flocked to TikTok, amassing millions of followers while trading their thirst for brains for a hunger for brand deals and sponsorships.
“It started as a way for us to connect and share our love for all things brain-related,” groaned Brittany “BiteBrit” Chambers, a prominent zombie influencer with over 2.1 million followers. “But then the brands came calling, and suddenly we were being offered free meat tenderizers and discount codes for bulk orders of formaldehyde.”
What was once a niche community of like-minded individuals has ballooned into a full-blown phenomenon, with zombie influencers raking in thousands of dollars for a single sponsored post. And the brands are eating it up – quite literally, in some cases.
“We’ve seen a massive uptick in engagement from the zombie demographic,” said Dr. Hank Killinger, a marketing expert and self-proclaimed “guru of the grave.” “These influencers have an undeniable appeal. Their content is fresh, their following is insatiable, and their commitment to their craft is downright infectious.”
But not everyone is thrilled with this disturbing trend. Concerned citizens have raised ethical questions about the exploitation of the undead for commercial gain, citing instances of influencers being paid to promote questionable products like “all-natural” embalming fluids and “artisanal” brain-tanning kits.
“It’s a slippery slope,” warned Zombie Rights activist Gail Ripper. “First, it’s sponsored content for boutique funeral homes. Next thing you know, they’ll be shilling for Big Pharma’s latest anti-zombie medication.”
As the controversy rages on, one thing is clear: the zombie influencer craze shows no signs of dying down. With millions of followers and dollars at stake, these undead trendsetters are determined to keep their brands – and their insatiable hunger for fame – alive and well.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
