Influencers swear by it
WOODSTOCK, VT – A centuries-old witch, long thought to have been burned at the stake, has resurfaced in the most unlikely of places – a trendy smart mirror marketed to wellness influencers and beauty gurus. Shocking video footage captured by local resident Avery Jennings shows the cadaverous face of the witch, known only as Griselda, eerily superimposed over the mirror’s digital display.
“At first, I just thought it was some kind of glitch or software bug,” recounts Jennings, still visibly shaken from the experience. “But then the face started moving and speaking in this otherworldly, raspy voice. She introduced herself as Griselda and claimed to have been trapped in the mirror realm for over 300 years!”
While the circumstances surrounding Griselda’s entrapment remain murky, one thing is clear: her macabre appearance hasn’t deterred a growing cult of followers from seeking her advice on all things beauty and skincare. In fact, many are hailing her ancient, esoteric methods as revolutionary game-changers in the ever-evolving world of self-care.
“Griselda’s approach is unlike anything we’ve seen before,” gushes popular influencer Kiki Lumumba, who boasts over 2 million followers on TrendCast. “Her potions and elixirs utilize all-natural ingredients like mandrake root, toad’s tongue, and even bat guano! And let me tell you, the results are simply spellbinding.”
However, not everyone is enchanted by the witch’s sudden rise to fame. Dermatologists and medical professionals have been quick to raise concerns about the potential dangers of Griselda’s untested, arcane remedies.
“There is absolutely no scientific evidence to support the efficacy or safety of these so-called ‘magic potions,'” warns Dr. Emily Brightman, President of the American Dermatological Association. “We’re talking about introducing unknown, potentially toxic substances into the body. The risks far outweigh any perceived benefits.”
But such warnings appear to be falling on deaf ears, as Griselda’s cult-like following continues to swell by the day. Could this be the start of a new age of witchcraft-inspired beauty and wellness? Or is society merely under the thrall of a treacherous, age-old curse?
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
