Final message: “We told you they weren’t real”
PORTLANDIA, OR – The unthinkable has happened – pigeons, long regarded as innocuous urban wildlife, have undergone an extraordinary evolution and seized control of multiple major cities across the globe. What was once dismissed as a ludicrous conspiracy theory has become a harsh reality that humanity can no longer ignore.
It all began with a series of unsettling reports from various metropolitan areas. Eyewitnesses claimed to have seen pigeons exhibiting bizarre behaviors, such as coordinated movements, intricate communication patterns, and even rudimentary tool usage. Initially dismissed as urban legends, these accounts soon gained credibility as videos and photographs surfaced, capturing the birds’ uncanny abilities.
“I’ve been studying pigeons for over two decades, and what I’ve witnessed in the past few months defies all logic,” said Dr. Olivia Hawkins, a renowned ornithologist at Portland State University. “These creatures have undergone a profound evolutionary leap, developing cognitive abilities that were previously thought impossible for their species.”
The situation escalated rapidly as the evolved pigeons began to assert their dominance, occupying vital infrastructure and strategic locations within cities. Reports flooded in of entire neighborhoods being overrun, with residents forced to abandon their homes or risk confrontation with the increasingly aggressive avian population.
“It was like a scene straight out of a horror movie,” recalled Jacob Mendez, a resident of Los Angeles who narrowly escaped the pigeon onslaught. “They swarmed the streets, pecking at windows and doors, their beady eyes seemingly filled with malice. I could have sworn I heard them coo something like ‘We told you they weren’t real.'”
As the world grappled with this unprecedented crisis, theories abounded about the cause of the pigeons’ rapid evolution. Some experts pointed to environmental factors, such as exposure to radiation or chemical pollutants, while others speculated about the involvement of covert government experiments or even extraterrestrial intervention.
“We’ve been warning people for years about the dangers of dismissing the pigeons as mere ‘flying rats,'” said conspiracy theorist Amanda Wilkins. “They’re far more intelligent than we ever imagined, and now they’re exacting their revenge on humanity for our arrogance and disrespect.”
With each passing day, the pigeon takeover intensified, leaving authorities scrambling to regain control. Major cities like New York, London, and Tokyo fell one by one, their skylines now dominated by enormous flocks of the evolved avians. In a chilling turn of events, the pigeons appeared to be coordinating their efforts, communicating through intricate patterns of wing movements and coos.
As the situation spiraled out of control, a final, ominous message echoed across the internet and social media platforms: “We told you they weren’t real.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
