Prefers deep conversations and deep lakes
LOCH NESS, SCOTLAND – The legend of the Loch Ness Monster has taken an unexpected turn as reports have surfaced claiming that the elusive creature has been spotted using the popular dating app Tinder. Eyewitnesses claim to have seen a profile with the username “LochNessyBaby” featuring a blurry, green-tinted photo that bears an uncanny resemblance to the famous cryptid.
According to Jamie MacDonald, a local fisherman who claims to have matched with the enigmatic profile, the Loch Ness Monster’s bio read: “Ancient aquatic creature seeking deep connections (and deep lakes). Swipe right if you’re into long walks on the loch shore and intense staring contests.”
“At first, I thought it was just some lad having a laugh,” MacDonald recounted. “But then I started receiving these flirtatious messages about wanting to ‘make a splash’ and ‘surface for a good time.’ That’s when I realized it might actually be Nessie herself.”
Despite the initial skepticism, more and more locals have come forward with similar stories of matching with the “LochNessyBaby” profile, fueling speculation that the Loch Ness Monster has finally embraced modern dating culture.
“It’s not entirely surprising,” commented Dr. Angus McLeod, a renowned cryptozoologist at the University of Edinburgh. “Nessie is a highly intelligent and adaptable creature. If she’s feeling lonely in those deep, dark waters, it only makes sense that she’d turn to technology to find companionship.”
McLeod went on to suggest that the Loch Ness Monster’s foray into online dating could be a desperate attempt to find a mate and continue her species’ bloodline. “It’s a risky move, but if she’s willing to dabble in interspecies relationships, who are we to judge?”
While some have dismissed the reports as mere hoaxes or publicity stunts, true believers remain convinced that the Loch Ness Monster’s Tinder exploits are a sign of her growing confidence and willingness to embrace the modern world.
“I mean, why else would a centuries-old cryptid suddenly start using a dating app?” questioned Hamish MacGregor, a local conspiracy theorist. “It’s clearly a cry for help, a desperate plea for connection from a misunderstood creature who’s been forced into hiding for far too long.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
