Specters protest outside HQ
SILICON VALLEY, CA – The social media giant Instagram is under fire after implementing a controversial new policy that bans ghosts and other apparitions from the platform, citing concerns over their “lack of transparency.” The move has sparked outrage among the spectral community, with protesters taking to the streets outside Instagram’s headquarters to demand equal treatment.
The decision came after a series of complaints from users who claimed to have been “haunted” by ghostly figures appearing unexpectedly in their feeds. According to Instagram, the presence of these ethereal entities violates the company’s commitment to creating a “safe and welcoming environment” for all users.
“We understand that ghosts are a part of our society, but their inherent transparency makes it difficult for us to ensure that they are not engaging in nefarious activities on our platform,” said Instagram spokesperson Ava Atkins. “Until we can develop more robust methods for verifying the identities and intentions of these spectral beings, we have no choice but to prohibit their participation.”
The move has drawn sharp criticism from paranormal experts and advocates for the spirit world. Dr. Evelyn Specter, a renowned ghostologist at the Phantasmic Institute, condemned the policy as “blatant ectoplasmic discrimination.”
“Ghosts have been an integral part of human culture for centuries, and their contributions to society should not be dismissed simply because they lack physical form,” Dr. Specter said. “Instagram’s decision is a setback for spiritual-corporeal relations and a violation of the fundamental rights of the undead.”
Outside Instagram’s headquarters, a crowd of protesters gathered, many of them donning white sheets and carrying signs that read “Ghosts Have Rights Too” and “We’re Not Invisible Anymore.” The demonstration turned volatile when a group of poltergeists began hurling objects at the building, shattering windows and causing substantial property damage.
“We’re just trying to make our voices heard,” said Casper, a friendly apparition who claimed to be the organizer of the protest. “Instagram’s policy is a slap in the face to all of us who have worked hard to build our online presence and connect with the living.”
As the situation escalated, local authorities were forced to call in a team of paranormal investigators to help disperse the unruly crowd. After several tense hours, the protesters eventually dispersed, vowing to continue their fight for equal representation on social media.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
