Experts blame black hole or bad math
FLAT EARTH PRAIRIE, ARIZONA – It was a scene of utter confusion and disbelief as the members of the ‘Flat Earth Explorers’ cult blasted off into the unknown, only to disappear without a trace. Eyewitnesses described a homemade rocket constructed from scrap metal and fueled by a mysterious concoction, shooting up from the desert in a blaze of fire and smoke, before vanishing into the vast expanse above.
“It was like something straight out of a bad sci-fi movie,” said local resident, Janice Miller. “One minute they were cheering and hollering about proving the earth is flat, the next, they were just gone, like they hit an invisible wall or something.”
The cult, known for their ardent belief in a flat earth theory and rejection of modern science, had been working tirelessly on their ‘voyage of truth’ for months. According to their manifesto, the plan was to launch a manned spacecraft high enough to capture photographic evidence of the Earth’s alleged flat surface, once and for all silencing the ’round-earth lie.’
“We’ve been lied to for too long,” cult leader, Ezekiel Chambers, proclaimed in a video statement released prior to the launch. “The so-called ‘scientists’ and their globalist agenda have kept the truth from us for centuries. But today, we take back our freedom and expose the greatest deception of all time.”
However, as the smoke cleared and the cheers died down, it became apparent that something had gone terribly wrong. The rocket, and its crew of six, had seemingly vanished into thin air, leaving behind only a smattering of debris and a bewildered crowd of onlookers.
“It’s like they hit a wormhole or something,” said astrophysicist, Dr. Amelia Hawking, who had been brought in to observe the launch. “Based on our calculations, they should have reached an altitude of only a few thousand feet, but then… poof, they were just gone.”
Theories abound as to the cult’s fate, ranging from the plausible, such as a catastrophic equipment failure, to the outlandish, like being swallowed by a miniature black hole or accidentally slipping through a dimensional rift.
“It’s almost like they punched a hole in the fabric of reality itself,” mused Dr. Hawking. “Either that, or their math was just really, really bad.”
As the search for answers continues, one thing is certain: the ‘Flat Earth Explorers’ have embarked on a journey far stranger than anyone could have imagined, leaving the world to ponder the ultimate question – what lies beyond the edge of the map?
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
