Bio reads: “Into chaos and long walks on scorched earth”
ATLANTIS, GA – In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the paranormal community, a self-proclaimed “Final Horseman of the Apocalypse” has been discovered on the popular dating app Tinder, leaving many to wonder if the end times are truly upon us.
According to eyewitness accounts, the enigmatic figure’s profile picture depicted a foreboding figure shrouded in darkness, with piercing red eyes and a bio that read: “Into chaos and long walks on scorched earth.”
“I was just mindlessly swiping when I came across this profile,” said local barista Sarah Johnson, her voice trembling with disbelief. “At first, I thought it was just another edgy goth kid trying to be cool, but then I read the bio, and it sent chills down my spine.”
As word of the disturbing discovery spread like wildfire across social media, experts in the field of eschatology, the study of the end times, have been scrambling to make sense of this unprecedented event.
“In all my years of research, I’ve never encountered anything quite like this,” said renowned apocalypse scholar Dr. Michael Graves. “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are biblical figures symbolizing conquest, war, famine, and death – harbingers of the end times. If this individual truly is the final horseman, it could mean that the apocalypse is imminent.”
While the identity of the individual remains a closely guarded secret, rumors have been swirling about their alleged supernatural abilities and connections to ancient doomsday cults. Some conspiracy theorists have even suggested that this entity is not of this world, but rather a manifestation of some otherworldly force seeking to usher in the end of days.
“We’re dealing with forces beyond our comprehension here,” warned self-proclaimed “truth seeker” and YouTube personality, Wilbur Trenchcoat. “This is no ordinary Tinder match – this is a harbinger of destruction, a harbinger of chaos. If you come across this profile, swipe left for your own safety.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
