Doom delayed by poor Wi-Fi
CYBERSPACE, GLOBAL INTERNET – As the world held its collective breath, eagerly awaiting the much-anticipated Apocalypse, a shocking turn of events has rocked the doomsday community. According to inside sources, the end of the world has been postponed until 2026 due to a catastrophic server overload.
Chaos erupted in the online forums and chatrooms dedicated to the looming Armageddon as frustrated preppers and apocalypse enthusiasts vented their rage. “I’ve been stockpiling canned goods and ammunition for years,” lamented self-proclaimed survivalist John Doe, his voice trembling with barely contained fury. “Now they’re telling me I have to wait another four years because of some lousy Wi-Fi? This is an outrage!”
The shocking revelation came directly from the shadowy organization known only as the “Harbingers of Doom,” a group shrouded in secrecy and rumored to be orchestrating the end of days. In a cryptic message posted on their official website, the Harbingers cited “unprecedented traffic and bandwidth limitations” as the primary reasons for the delay.
“We deeply regret the inconvenience caused by this unforeseen technical glitch,” the statement read. “Rest assured, our team of apocalyptic engineers is working around the clock to resolve the issue and ensure the world’s destruction proceeds as scheduled in 2026.”
Renowned eschatologist and doomsday theorist, Dr. Abigail Grimshaw, offered her expert insights on the matter. “It’s a classic case of failing to upgrade their infrastructure,” she remarked dryly. “The Harbingers clearly underestimated the sheer volume of people eager to witness the end of the world. They should have invested in a more robust server farm.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
