Earth left with average people
ROSWELL, NM – The truth is finally out there, and it’s even stranger than we imagined. An alien fleet has arrived on Earth, offering to evacuate a select few inhabitants – but only if they’re influencers. That’s right, the extraterrestrials have made it clear that they’re only interested in relocating those with a massive social media following, leaving the rest of us average Joes behind.
According to eyewitness accounts, the alien ships first appeared in the skies above major cities around the world, emitting a bizarre, pulsating light show that immediately went viral on platforms like TikTok and Instagram. Within hours, the most popular influencers started receiving mysterious direct messages from accounts claiming to be affiliated with the alien fleet.
“At first, I thought it was just some elaborate marketing campaign,” said lifestyle vlogger Jessica Quintana, who boasts over 10 million followers on Instagram. “But then they sent me coordinates and told me to be ready for extraction. I’m not gonna lie, I was freaking out a little.”
Despite the initial shock, Quintana and countless other influencers eagerly accepted the alien invitation, lured by the promise of fame and fortune on a cosmic scale. As word spread, a frenzy of social media activity ensued, with people desperately trying to boost their follower counts in hopes of being deemed worthy by the discerning extraterrestrials.
“It’s a classic case of survival of the fittest, or in this case, survival of the most popular,” explained Dr. Algernon Waite, a leading expert in xenoanthropology at the Miskatonic University. “These aliens clearly value influence and reach above all else. They’re not interested in our science, our culture, or our resources – they want our influencers.”
As the evacuation process began, reports flooded in from around the globe of influencers being beamed up into the alien ships, leaving behind a trail of stunned onlookers and countless unanswered questions. Some conspiracy theorists speculate that the influencers are being taken as some sort of intergalactic tribute, while others believe they’re being groomed as ambassadors for an impending invasion.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
