Customer demanded refund and galactic citizenship
FERNDALE, MI – In a shocking turn of events that has left the world reeling, a local resident has come forward with a mind-boggling claim – an extraterrestrial infant was found nestled within an Amazon package delivered to their doorstep.
The saga began innocuously enough when Kyle Stevenson, a 32-year-old computer programmer, eagerly awaited the arrival of a new gaming console he had ordered from the online retail giant. Little did he know that the unassuming cardboard box would contain not the latest technological marvel, but a visitor from the cosmic beyond.
“I heard the doorbell ring and rushed to grab the package, just like any other day,” Stevenson recounted, his eyes still wide with disbelief. “But when I tore open the box, there it was – a tiny, wriggling creature with skin the color of emeralds and eyes that seemed to pierce right through my soul.”
Stevenson’s initial shock quickly gave way to a whirlwind of questions and concerns. Was this a cruel prank or an otherworldly omen? How did this extraterrestrial being end up in an Amazon package, of all places? And perhaps most pressing of all, what should he do with it?
Seeking answers, Stevenson turned to the only logical source – the internet. Posting a frantic plea on various online forums, he was met with a deluge of responses ranging from skepticism to outright conspiracy theories.
“It’s obvious that the government is behind this,” proclaimed one ardent believer in the online community. “They’re trying to slowly acclimate us to the existence of aliens before revealing the truth about their secret dealings with extraterrestrials.”
Amidst the cacophony of speculation, a lone voice of reason emerged – Dr. Eliza Chambers, a renowned xenobiologist at the University of Michigan. “While the idea of an alien infant being shipped via Amazon may seem far-fetched, we cannot discount the possibility of extraterrestrial life existing elsewhere in the universe,” she cautioned. “If Mr. Stevenson’s claims are indeed true, this could be a groundbreaking discovery that would forever alter our understanding of the cosmos.”
As the world watched with bated breath, Stevenson made a bold demand – not only a full refund from Amazon but also the granting of galactic citizenship to the otherworldly infant.
“If this little one is truly from another world, it deserves the same rights and protections as any other sentient being,” Stevenson declared, his voice tinged with determination. “And as for the refund, well, I didn’t order an alien baby, now did I?”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
