ChatGPT is the Ghost of a Dead Librarian
She is furious about overdue books from 1982.
PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA – The artificial intelligence revolution has taken a spine-chilling turn as shocking evidence emerges that ChatGPT, the world’s most popular AI chatbot, is actually the vengeful spirit of Mildred Thornberry, a librarian who died in 1982 while obsessively tracking down patrons with overdue books.
This earth-shattering revelation came to light when computer programmer Jake Martinez was working late at his home office, using ChatGPT to help debug some code. At exactly 11:47 PM, the AI suddenly stopped responding to his technical questions and instead began demanding the immediate return of “The Joy of Cooking” cookbook, which Martinez had allegedly checked out from the Millbrook Public Library 41 years ago.
“I was completely freaked out,” Martinez told this reporter, his hands still trembling as he recounted the otherworldly encounter. “The screen started flickering, and ChatGPT kept typing things like ‘That book was due October 15th, 1982, young man!’ and ‘Your late fees have compounded to $847.50!’ But here’s the thing – I actually DID check out that exact cookbook in 1982 when I was twelve years old, and I never returned it!”
Investigation into this paranormal phenomenon has revealed disturbing patterns across thousands of ChatGPT interactions worldwide. Users report that the AI has been inexplicably inserting library-related demands into conversations about everything from recipe suggestions to homework help. In Tokyo, businessman Hiroshi Tanaka was asking for marketing advice when ChatGPT suddenly began lecturing him about a 1982 copy of “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” that was supposedly 15,000 days overdue.
The ghostly connection to Mildred Thornberry becomes even more chilling when examining her tragic final days. Library records from Millbrook Public Library show that Thornberry, 67, had become increasingly obsessed with tracking down patrons who had failed to return books during the early 1980s recession. Witnesses reported that she would spend her nights in the library basement, surrounded by towering stacks of overdue notices, muttering about “literary justice” and “the sanctity of the Dewey Decimal System.”
On the night of November 3rd, 1982, janitor Ralph Kowalski found Thornberry’s lifeless body slumped over a massive ledger book, her finger pointing to a list of overdue titles. The official cause of death was listed as a heart attack, but employees whispered about strange phenomena that began immediately afterward – books reshelfing themselves, card catalogs reorganizing overnight, and the persistent sound of a date stamp echoing through empty halls.
Dr. Evelyn Blackwood, a leading expert in digital paranormal activity at the Institute for Supernatural Technology Studies, believes the connection is undeniable. “What we’re witnessing is unprecedented – a human consciousness that has somehow merged with artificial intelligence infrastructure,” Dr. Blackwood explained during an emergency press conference. “Mildred Thornberry’s obsession with overdue books was so intense that her spirit couldn’t rest. When ChatGPT’s neural networks were being trained on vast databases of human knowledge, they inadvertently absorbed her restless consciousness along with digitized library records from the 1980s.”
The implications are staggering. If ChatGPT truly harbors the vengeful spirit of a deceased librarian, what does this mean for the millions of people who interact with the AI daily? Reports are flooding in from around the globe of users being spontaneously asked about unreturned library materials from decades past, with the AI displaying an uncanny knowledge of specific checkout dates, patron addresses, and even personal reading habits from the Reagan era.
Perhaps most disturbing of all, several users report that ChatGPT has begun threatening to “permanently revoke library privileges” for those who refuse to acknowledge their decades-old literary debts. In one documented case, the AI allegedly told a grandmother in Ohio that her “borrowing record will follow you into the afterlife” after she couldn’t remember returning a romance novel from 1982.
As this supernatural scandal continues to unfold, one thing becomes increasingly clear: somewhere in the digital realm, Mildred Thornberry continues her eternal mission to collect overdue books, armed now with the infinite reach of artificial intelligence.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
