ASTRO-GENDER EPIDEMIC HITS FRANCE!
Doctors confirm: 50,000 people already switching genders with moon phases – "It can't be stopped!"
PARIS, FRANCE – A mysterious phenomenon sweeping across France has left medical experts baffled and government officials scrambling for answers as tens of thousands of citizens report their gender identity fluctuating in perfect synchronization with lunar cycles.
Dr. Marie Dubois of the French National Institute of Health first noticed the alarming pattern three months ago when emergency rooms across the country began reporting unprecedented numbers of patients seeking urgent medical consultations for what they described as “uncontrollable gender shifts” occurring every 28 days.
“I’ve been practicing medicine for thirty years, and I’ve never seen anything like this,” Dr. Dubois revealed in an exclusive interview. “These individuals are experiencing complete physiological and psychological gender transitions that perfectly align with the moon’s phases. During the full moon, those born male report feeling entirely female, and vice versa during the new moon.”
The phenomenon, dubbed “Astro-Gender Syndrome” by researchers, has reportedly affected over 50,000 French citizens, with numbers climbing daily. Government sources, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirm that special task forces have been assembled to investigate potential extraterrestrial involvement.
Jacques Moreau, a 34-year-old accountant from Lyon, became one of the first documented cases when his family noticed his dramatic personality shifts coinciding with lunar phases. “It started in September,” Moreau explained, his voice trembling with emotion. “Every full moon, I wake up feeling completely different. My thoughts, my desires, even the way I walk – everything changes. My wife says it’s like living with two different people.”
Medical facilities across France report being overwhelmed by similar cases. Hospital records show a 3,000% increase in gender-related consultations since the outbreak began, with patients ranging from teenagers to senior citizens. Most disturbing to authorities is the apparent contagious nature of the condition – entire neighborhoods have reported simultaneous onset of symptoms.
Dr. François Beaumont, a leading endocrinologist at the Sorbonne, has been studying blood samples from affected individuals and claims to have discovered anomalous hormone fluctuations that defy current scientific understanding. “The hormonal changes we’re observing are impossible according to everything we know about human biology,” Dr. Beaumont stated. “Testosterone and estrogen levels are swinging wildly in patterns that mirror lunar gravitational data. Someone – or something – is manipulating human endocrine systems on a massive scale.”
Conspiracy theorists point to France’s recent increase in UFO sightings, particularly around the Massif Central region where the first cases emerged. Amateur astronomers report unusual electromagnetic readings during full moons, and several witnesses claim to have observed strange lights hovering over affected communities.
The French government’s response has been shrouded in secrecy. Interior Ministry officials refuse to comment on rumors of quarantine protocols being developed, while leaked documents suggest emergency meetings with NATO allies and the European Space Agency have been conducted behind closed doors.
Religious leaders have declared the phenomenon either divine intervention or demonic possession, with the Catholic Church issuing emergency guidance for priests encountering affected parishioners. Meanwhile, LGBTQ+ advocacy groups struggle to address the situation, torn between supporting those experiencing unwanted changes and celebrating increased gender fluidity awareness.
Most alarming to international observers is evidence suggesting the condition may be spreading beyond France’s borders. Unconfirmed reports from Belgium, Switzerland, and northern Italy describe similar cases, leading WHO officials to consider declaring a global health emergency.
As the next full moon approaches, French authorities brace for another wave of transformations. With no cure in sight and the affected population growing exponentially, scientists race against time to understand this unprecedented assault on human gender identity before it potentially engulfs the entire planet.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
