NEYMAR INHERITS BILLION DOLLARS FROM MARTIAN BENEFACTOR

Anonymous alien billionaire leaves fortune to footballer who reminds him of his lost Neptunian son

SAO PAULO, BRAZIL – In a shocking turn of events that has sent ripples through both the football world and the secret extraterrestrial community on Earth, Brazilian superstar Neymar Jr. has reportedly inherited a staggering one billion dollars from a mysterious Martian benefactor who watched the player’s every move from his hidden base in the Amazon rainforest.

Sources close to the intergalactic legal proceedings reveal that Zyx’thul Mor-Kaine, a reclusive alien billionaire who had been living incognito on Earth for over three decades, left his entire fortune to the Paris Saint-Germain forward after becoming emotionally attached to the player’s distinctive style and mannerisms, which reminded him of his beloved son who perished in the Great Neptunian Wars of 2847.

The inheritance, which includes not only Earth currency but also rare Martian crystals worth an estimated additional 500 million dollars, was delivered to Neymar through a clandestine network of alien-human intermediaries operating out of a secret facility beneath the Cristo Redentor statue in Rio de Janeiro.

“I was there when the briefcase materialized out of thin air right in front of Neymar’s mansion,” claims Roberto Silva, a local gardener who witnessed the otherworldly transaction. “Three beings in shimmering suits that seemed to bend light around them approached the gate. They spoke in this weird humming language, then one of them pressed a device to the intercom. Next thing I know, Neymar comes running out, tears in his eyes, clutching some kind of glowing document.”

The legal documentation, written in a combination of Portuguese and what experts are calling “High Martian script,” details how Mor-Kaine became obsessed with Earth football after crash-landing in the Amazon in 1991. Using advanced Martian technology to amass wealth through manipulation of global stock markets and cryptocurrency mining on seventeen different planets, the alien entrepreneur accumulated his fortune while secretly following Neymar’s career from the player’s youth academy days at Santos.

According to the will, Mor-Kaine was particularly moved by Neymar’s emotional displays on the pitch, his theatrical reactions to fouls, and his distinctive way of celebrating goals – all traits that eerily mirrored those of his deceased Neptunian son, Qal’meer Mor-Kaine, who was killed defending the ice mines of Neptune’s largest moon.

Dr. Helena Vasquez, a xenobiologist at the underground Institute for Extraterrestrial Studies in Mexico City, believes this case represents the first documented instance of interplanetary emotional attachment leading to inheritance. “What we’re seeing here is unprecedented,” Dr. Vasquez explains. “Martians typically view humans as primitive life forms, but Mor-Kaine’s psychological profile suggests he experienced what we might call ‘cross-species paternal bonding.’ The parallels between Neymar’s behavior and that of young Neptunians during their competitive rituals are actually quite remarkable when you analyze the xenopsychological data.”

The inheritance comes with several bizarre stipulations, including a requirement that Neymar must wear a small Martian tracking device during all future matches, donate 10% of the fortune to a fund supporting orphaned alien children across the galaxy, and participate in an annual memorial ceremony honoring fallen Neptunian warriors.

Neymar’s representatives have remained suspiciously silent about the windfall, though sources within PSG report that the player has been seen consulting with mysterious figures in dark suits and has begun displaying an unusual interest in astronomy and rocket science.

Perhaps most disturbing are the reports from Neymar’s inner circle that the footballer has begun speaking fragments of an unknown language during his sleep and has been observed staring at the night sky for hours, seemingly searching for something among the stars.

Government officials from both Brazil and France have denied any knowledge of the transaction, though leaked documents suggest that both countries’ alien monitoring divisions have placed Neymar under discrete surveillance.

The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.