DMV says he's surprisingly patient
UNDEAD FALLS, MI – A shocking incident unfolded at the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) office in Undead Falls this week, as a shambling, decaying figure shuffled through the doors and requested a driver’s license. Eyewitnesses report that the apparent zombie, its flesh rotting and one arm hanging limply by its side, patiently waited in line for over three hours before reaching the counter.
“At first, I thought it was just some guy in really good makeup,” said Janice Wilkins, who was at the DMV to renew her license. “But then I noticed the smell, and the way parts of him were, you know, falling off. I nearly fainted.”
Despite the initial shock and horror from those in the crowded DMV lobby, the zombie remained calm and composed, occasionally letting out a low groan but otherwise behaving in an orderly fashion. When its turn finally came, it produced the necessary documentation, including a tattered birth certificate and proof of residency.
“I’ve seen some strange things in my time working here, but this definitely takes the cake,” admitted DMV clerk Ralph Jennings. “The zombie was surprisingly polite, though. Didn’t cause any trouble at all, just wanted to get its license like everyone else.”
According to Dr. Zamani Khufu, a leading expert on the undead from Arkham University, zombies applying for official documentation is an increasingly common phenomenon. “As the zombie population continues to grow, we’re seeing more and more of them attempt to integrate into society,” he explained. “Getting a driver’s license is often the first step, allowing them to maintain a semblance of their former lives.”
However, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of zombies operating motor vehicles. Local resident Karen Stevens expressed her outrage, stating, “It’s an abomination! These things should be put down, not given licenses to roam the streets. What’s next, letting them vote?”
Shockingly, the DMV employee processed the zombie’s application without issue, providing it with a temporary paper license until the plastic one could be printed and mailed. As the undead creature shambled out of the office, clutching its hard-earned documentation, a hush fell over the remaining customers.
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
