“Pause button still works,” says nerd hero
UNDEAD GULCH, AZ – The world was teetering on the brink of a full-blown zombie apocalypse, but a heroic nerd saved humanity with an unlikely weapon: a universal remote control. Wielding the power of the pause button, he halted the undead hordes in their tracks, freezing them mid-shamble across the scorching Arizona desert.
It all started when a top-secret government experiment went horribly awry, reanimating the dead in a remote desert town. Within hours, a ravenous army of zombies overwhelmed the local population, turning the once-sleepy Undead Gulch into a nightmarish feeding ground.
“They just kept coming, gnashing their rotted teeth and moaning for brains,” recalled Tiffany Graves, a terrified survivor. “I thought for sure we were all going to become zombie chow.”
With the undead threat rapidly spiraling out of control, the military mobilized its forces, but conventional weapons proved useless against the relentless horde. That’s when an unlikely hero emerged from the most unexpected of places.
“I was just your average basement-dwelling nerd, catching up on my favorite anime when the news broke,” said Chuck Remington, a self-proclaimed “remote control enthusiast.” Armed with his prized universal remote and an encyclopedic knowledge of infrared signals, Chuck devised an audacious plan to save the day.
“I realized that zombies, being the mindless drones they are, might just respond to the universal ‘pause’ command,” he explained, adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses.
Risking life and limb, Chuck ventured into the heart of the zombie-infested town, his remote gripped tightly in his sweaty palms. As the undead masses closed in, he pointed his trusty device skyward and pressed the sacred pause button.
“At first, I thought it wasn’t working,” Chuck recounted. “But then, one by one, the zombies just… froze. It was like someone hit the pause button on reality itself.”
The once-rampaging horde stood motionless, their lifeless eyes unblinking and their gaping maws frozen in silent screams. The town was saved, and the world had narrowly averted a catastrophic zombie apocalypse – all thanks to the quick thinking of a nerd and his universal remote.
“I never thought my obsession with remote controls would one day save the entire human race,” Chuck mused, basking in his newfound celebrity. “I guess you could say I’m a real-life superhero now.”
The characters and events depicted in this story are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or to actual events is unintentional and purely coincidental.
